Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most. Burning edges and scars and stars. Old pains and pangs, captivation and beauty. Strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.
If your family ever feels dysfunctional just remember that my parents got divorced and didn’t tell each other where they were moving to so they ended up moving in the same neighborhood and becoming neighbors
Do I Actually Have a Crush On You Or Do I Just Like That You’re Nice to Me and Cute: a novel by me
Job Interviewer: so what do you for fun?
omg guys! i literally just installed this thing where people who *think* they’re clicking on anon, aren’t. and well well well look what we have here
what kind of extreme inbreeding teas! what kind of i live on a ranch and sneak into the barn every night and have sex with my brother and my horse teas?
and of course, you follow me. proof that in general, hate mail comes from fans who’s presence we are literally unaware of
I mean I could go on but I’m literally beyond embarrassed on your behalf i hope your future employer at the gas station sees this and decides not to hire you you ugly squidward bitch
my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”